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Communicating with your potential match |
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Email writing can substitute for or enhance actual physical presence at any or all these intervals, and is especially well suited for the delicate early stages of a developing pair bond.
When it comes to emailing, be as sweet as you can be smart, keep your emails short enough to ask about what made the lady like those hobbies she stated on her ad, or what made her choose and response to yours, make a positive comment on what you liked in her description, keep it simple, so you have enough to talk about when you decide to talk on the phone when you both decide to.
When it comes to voice conversations, there is a rhythm and flow to a good telephone call, Time to let her talk. Keep enough presence of mind to make the appropriate noises and grunts at the right times to let her know you're still there. Laugh at her funnies. Encourage her. Administer verbal strokes and smiles, as necessary.
Practice the simple techniques that strip a first call of most of its terrors. Take a blank notebook and begin outlining how you want the conversation to go. What would you talk about? What do you know about the woman -- her life story, her personality, her likes and dislikes, her beliefs and passions? What do you feel comfortable revealing about your own self? What is most important for her to know about you? What can you say that will purposefully lead to finding things you have in common, interests you share, activities you could do together...
Speak in your natural voice... you need not strain. Take care not to dwell overly much on yourself. Talking about I and me constantly is boring. Ask her about herself, question her gently. Let her talk. Listen. Let her feel she's being listened to. Respond. Pepper the conversation with humor, genuine good humor. Humor is the saving grace of human discourse.
When you both run out of things to say - this is a signal to sign off. Tell her how much you enjoyed speaking with her, that her company, even at a distance, has enlivened your evening. Ask her, gently; if she would care to repeat the experience (assuming it has not been too painful for either of you). |
Communicating with your potential match 
